


A Rogue Delivery

by agoodpersonrose



Series: Schitt Gifts [5]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Crack, Episode: s04e09 The Olive Branch, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Hot Delivery Men, Kissing, M/M, Patrick Brewer loves David Rose, Post-Episode: s04e09 The Olive Branch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/pseuds/agoodpersonrose
Summary: “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna go to lunch, and you are gonna sit here, and think about what you’ve done. Okay?”“Um, while you’re at lunch, can you get me some lunch?”A number of Patrick's Olive Branches arrive at the Apothecaryafterhe has found out that David has been putting off talking to him.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Schitt Gifts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861039
Comments: 43
Kudos: 175





	A Rogue Delivery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roguebaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguebaby/gifts), [fishyspots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishyspots/gifts).



“You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna go to lunch, and you are gonna sit here, and think about what you’ve done. Okay?”

“Um, while you’re at lunch, can you get _me_ some lunch?”

“Unbelievable,” is the last thing Patrick says as the door slams shut behind him. David thinks that perhaps, once upon a time, he would have been worried about how they had ended that conversation, but not now. He knows now that Patrick isn’t going anywhere; he’s shown that enough this week, and now--

The bell rings again, and David looks up excitedly from where he is aimlessly moving around moisturisers and skin products, lost in his thoughts about his wonderful boyfriend.

“Hi, how can I help?”

“Hey, um, I have a delivery for David Rose? I did take these to the motel but the woman at the desk told me you would be here, and I needed to pick up some more body milk for the missus.”

David’s attention is drawn down to the basket of muffins in the delivery man’s _very_ impressive arms.

“Oh, well, that’s very kind, thank you. Should I sign for it--?" he gestures for the pen, and the man gives it to us for him to scribble his signature down on the pad. “Thank you very much.”

He takes the basket, eyes already roving over all his favourite flavours. He’s almost going to reach for one when he realises that perhaps stuffing his face with delectable baked goods is not the way to run a respectable business, especially when there is a man whose arms look like they could have their own centre of gravity only a few steps away.

He places it on the counter with a put-upon sigh as the delivery man browses. He thinks he’ll try the blueberry one first, or maybe the double chocolate. The lemon drizzle is an interesting choice, not David’s usual favourite, but Patrick’s preference of sweet treat. Maybe he was trying to make David miss the flavour of it on his lips.

Maybe Patrick can have that one.

David snaps himself out of his daze when the man comes over to pay. “All done? Did you find everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m all set, thank you.”

He’s just heading out with his purchases when he bumps into Patrick in the doorway, who politely steps back to let him through.

“Enjoy the muffins!” the man shouts over his shoulder.

Patrick’s eyes narrow at the sweet treats. “Oh. Look what arrived.”

“Mhm, look what arrived. Too late to cancel your order?” David asks in a sing song voice and is surprised when Patrick suddenly looks unwell. “What is it?”

“Nothing I was just thinking about- You can’t eat those!” Patrick is distracted by David reaching for a muffin, and slaps his hand away, grabbing the basket and turning his back as if to protect them.

“What- Why?” David exclaims. “They were for me, the delivery man said so!”

“Yeah? Well, they also say--” Patrick reaches into the basket and pulls out a small folded over gift card. _“David, I know you can’t forgive me, but I hope these muffins make you feel better, and remind you a little of me. Ready to talk whenever you are.”_

The words sound even more desperate read out loud, and David winces. “I thought you said this morning that you weren’t going to send me any more presents; you said you were scared of being ‘overbearing’.”

“Yeah, well, I ordered these two days ago and--” Patrick dodges again when David makes another bid for a muffin. “They were non-refundable.”

He then mumbles something under his breath, which sounds a lot like ‘along with everything else’, but David can’t be sure.

“Okay. Can I have my muffins, please?”

“No,” Patrick says petulantly. “I think this is going to be part one of _my_ olive branch. I think I’ll start with the double chocolate.”

David audibly gasps as Patrick pulls the muffin out and unwraps it, making eye contact with David as he opens his mouth to take a bite. His eyelashes flutter as he closes them and moans indecently, rogue crumbs sticking to his lips as he grins around his mouthful.

“These muffins are delicious, David. Shame you can’t have any.”

David makes a pathetic noise and barely restrains himself from stomping his foot on the floor like a toddler. He turns his back and heads to get another box of moisturisers to continue restocking.

When he returns to the centre display, there is a single muffin sat on the counter for him, which he snatches up with suspicion and quickly devours, sending a grateful look in Patrick’s direction.

***

It’s mid-afternoon when the next present arrives. A different delivery man this time, but equally as buff, David doesn’t fail to notice. “Delivery for--”

“God _damnit_.”

The man pauses, looking nervous at Patrick’s outburst, and turning towards David for support. “David Rose?”

“That’s me, thank you so much,” David says, offering a blinding smile and reaching out with grabby hands for the package the man is holding. “Kind of you to come all this way, I assume they told you at the motel?”

“They did indeed.”

“Well thank you so much, I have been so looking forward to this,” David says, shooting a bright-eyed look across the room at his annoyed looking boyfriend.

“My pleasure- I know I’m technically on duty, but you wouldn’t mind if I--”

“I don’t think that’s appropriate,” Patrick interrupts, coming around to stand by David’s side and putting a possessive hand on his boyfriend’s waist.

“Shopped,” the man finishes, looking even more terrified of Patrick, if that’s possible. “While you sign that.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry- Of course, go ahead, take as long as you need,” Patrick says, overly apologetic and sounding just like he does _every time_ he talks to Ronnie.

David bites down as hard as he possibly can on his lip, trying _desperately_ not to let the laugh that’s bubbling in his chest escape. He claps a hand over his mouth and tries to focus on writing a legible signature on the paper.

The man buys some candles and a scarf, and then leaves, shooting slightly nervous looks at Patrick all the while.

“Thank you so much, enjoy your day,” David says breezily as he packs up his products into a tote bag and sends him on his way. He then goes to reach for his parcel, only to find it gone.

He follows Patrick into the back room where he had slinked away to avoid the awkwardness radiating between him and the _very_ attractive delivery man.

“Um, I believe that’s mine--” David says, pointing to the parcel which is lying unopened on Patrick’s desk.

“I don’t think it is, though,” Patrick replies. “See, this is an apology gift and, from my understanding, _you’re_ actually the one who owes an apology right now.”

“Mm, you know who _else_ deserves an apology? That _incredibly_ muscular delivery man you just accosted in the middle of a workday,” David teases, pointing a thumb behind him.

“He was so big, right?” Patrick says, with wide, baby brown eyes. “He must bench like, two twenty-five or something!”

David’s smile drops a little due to his ignorance. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means.”

Patrick seems to be lost in thought for a moment, so David takes the opportunity to grab his parcel and rip it open. Out falls a small black frame with a tiny tab receipt in it, crumpled and faded, with B13 written clearly in black ink.

“Oh.”

As soon as he has registered it, it’s gone, Patrick snatching it back and holding it against his chest. “Damn it- I was going to save that!”

“You never would have opened it, you’re too afraid to really break the law and open someone else’s mail!” David exclaims, his brain moving a little slow with the surprise of the sheer sentimentality of the present inside.

“Maybe I would have just wrapped up the parcel,” Patrick grumbles.

David reaches out a hand and lightly tugs at the side of the frame. “And waste all the money you spent on postage? I don’t think so. Can I have my present back, please?”

“No,” Patrick continues to huff. “I want it- I’m gonna put it on my bedside.”

“No, you are not!”

Now, Patrick’s face starts to grow into a crooked smile. “You know what, David? You can have the present back, once you’ve given me an olive branch worthy of it.”

David opens his mouth to argue, but an idea is already forming in his mind.

“Fine!” he says. “But be prepared to be _amazed.”_

Patrick’s answering nod is filled with fondness which only grows when David dodges away from a kiss with an “ _ah ah ah_ ” _,_ and heads back to the main floor to work.

***

The last notes of the song echo in the empty store; David on his knees and panting like he’s just run a marathon. But Patrick’s hands are gripping his arms, and he’s grinning from ear to ear as if he has just witnessed some majestic performance. Possibly more than David did when he finally got Mariah Carey tickets all those years ago.

“David, you--”

David nods breathlessly and tilts his head up, leaning eagerly into the kiss Patrick bestows on him. Patrick’s hands are all over him, rubbing his shoulders and cupping his cheek, pulling him closer and closer as if unable to get enough contact to ever truly be satisfied.

David is just doing the mental preparations to climb up onto the chair with him, when there is a tentative knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt gents, I have a delivery for--”

“David Rose? Yep, that’s me,” David says, breaking the kiss and scrambling to his feet, rushing over to the door eager for their moment not to be broken. He all but snatches the pen from the man, only letting his gaze linger for a moment on the _incredible_ muscle that flexes as he hands the sheet over.

“Much obliged, gentlemen,” the man says, tipping his head and turning back to exit, his thigh muscles--

Not the point.

Curiosity getting the best of him, David tears open the sizeable box, reaching into it and pulling out…

“Patrick?”

“Yeah?” is the choked, embarrassed response.

“Are these teddy bears supposed to look like _us_?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [roguebaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguebaby/pseuds/roguebaby) and [fishyspots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishyspots/pseuds/fishyspots) for the joint peer pressure and inspiration! Sorry for making a very cute idea so very dumb!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think in the comments! ⭐️


End file.
